It's The Thought That Matters

... are something that I was and will probably never be good at. This might be the reason why I prefer to write about how I feel rather than talk to someone else about them. Please do not get the wrong idea that I don't trust my family or friends with what I have to say, rather I'm afraid to show how vulnerable I am deep inside. It also doesn't help that sometimes I tend to think too much when I'm bored. As the saying goes, an idle mind is the Devil's playground and I agree with it. Thoughts just start popping out of nowhere and I'll just stray from it every single time and whenever I do, it always ends up being the worst-case scenario. No doubt that it's good to be prepared at times for the worst but at times when we think too much, our thoughts and assumptions hurt us much more than how the real outcome will. As time passes, these feelings are brought forward and they snowball downwards ultimately causing an avalanche that will swallow you up for God-knows-how-long. I'm really afraid that I can't hold on much longer and hope that this week will pass sooner so that I can get over what I need to and I also know it's not fair to ask why is this happening to me when there are others more unfortunate than I am, especially the victims of the airplane fiasco. I can only hope that God will continue to grant me strength for the next 3 days. That's all I'm asking for. Then I promise I'll be back to my normal self. I noticed that this issue has troubled me to the point where I can't even play like how I used to in all the games that I normally immerse myself in. If you're reading this, do you no see how much you really mean to me?