It's The Thought That Matters

... for the past few days is that how am I going to spend the rest of my 4 years of uni life before I start working. Should I enjoy myself before I start the dreaded housemanship or should I study my butt off to get the first-class honours that my parents believe so much that I'm able to? Once again, decisions, decisions and more decisions. It's the little things in life which you chose that will, in the end, snowball into a larger picture where you'll sometimes regret but also take pride in throughout the ironically long journey of a short life. Another thing would be my personal character. I do realise that some aspects of my personality and character that has to change and I'm doing what I can to stop. Before I got into uni, refraining myself from using excessive flowery words weren't a problem for me but as uni life went on, I found myself (rather, Terence noticed) that I was back to where I started while I was in high school. I shrugged off his comment at first, telling myself that hey, when you're frustrated, it's better to turn to other stuff like cigarettes and alcohol but then I knew that I still ran away from the problem instead of tackling it straight on so I decided to give it another go to see if I could stop it. I can proudly say that I managed to reduce it significantly and I could go on without saying it for a day or two (only applies when I'm not overly-grumpy)which leads me to this. I wasn't exactly in my usual mood for the past two days because I didn't get enough sleep. Coupled together with the fact that I went to the gym on Tuesday and basketball yesterday, it was really enough to knock me out. Hence, there I was glaring at people who annoyed me even just a little bit which I would normally ignore. One of my friend who wasn't really close to me just came up and asked me whether if I was OK today and what was troubling me. I just smiled and told him everything was fine (when it was not since I was sleepy the whole day). I guess I'll just leave it as that. Next on the list, I feel guilty making this decision earlier today. When your parents tell you that it's OK for you to not go home, you know that they don't really mean what they say deep down in their hearts. I'm really sorry that I had to make that decision because I'm currently held back with my exams around the corner (and also with my piling laundry). It's been quite a while since I stayed away from home for more than 3 weeks considering that I'm usually back every fortnight but I guess some things might change a little over time. These are the few issues that, I think, demand the most attention both physically and mentally from me. I'll most probably just take a little time off to get it all sorted out, then I'll be back to normal again. It's like a period for my down-time where I need to keep things in check to make sure I don't try to lead a larger-than-life behaviour. Before signing off, I think I'll add something which I told my friend back then. "What God has planned for you will be given for you. Even the birds do not worry when their next meal will be or where they will stay for the night so why should you? God has already provided for you and all that is left for you to do, is to place your trust in Him and live according to His will." Good night.