2014.
10 years ago
Thoughts on: Christian Leaders
WARNING: Potentially long read. Only attempt to do so if you have at least 10 minutes of free time or so to read a product of an insufficiently-educated mind. Anyway, after almost a year-long hiatus or so, I'm finally back to contribute something that I've always wanted to talk about but never had much to say up until today as a result of attending a particularly "interesting" event. Now as most of you would know, I'm not really the most pious or devout Christian friend that you have or maybe even had and although I try to live by the teachings of Christ, I must admit with regret that I refuse to submit to the ways of Christ in countless occasions. In this I have no one else to blame except myself for the lack of faith and submission but let's leave that issue for another. What I wanted to talk about today is the matter of Christian leaders, please pardon the redundancy, especially those with immense influence and power. It should be known, though, that this also applies to leaders of all religions other than Christianity as the only reason why I chose to talk on the people of my belief is the simple fact that I've had first-hand experience with them although not exactly face-to-face kind of encounter per se. If you, my dear friend, have at least read a thing or two in the last 5 years, you would have heard of a certain influential and important Christian leader in Singapore who was involved in a fiasco of which he embezzled his own church's funds which was then paraded for the rest of his congregation to see, in the form of his wife's face. Or maybe some of you, my Christian friends who attend your own respective churches, may feel like the church's growth is being restricted by the reluctance of her leaders to accept the inevitable change. Mind the fact that I do not only mean pastors, bishops or reverends. When the word "leader" is used in the church, it means a person which we all look up to as a role model regardless of age. Yesterday, I signed up for and attended a conference which I thought would prove to be useful later in my future profession, for those of you who still don't know I'm taking a nursing course, and was told that the conference would be conducted with elements of Christianity in it. Truth to be told, I was really excited to be around people of vast experience and knowledge who also shared the same belief as I do which explained why I immediately got onto the bandwagon without a moment's hesitation. All was well at the start of the event, worship was lively, people were shaking hands all over the place, food was good up to the point where a video presentation was aired on the screen. That's where my opinion of the whole thing went sideways.
Call me over-thinking, unreasonable or judgmental, I'm not really bothered as I still stand by my opinion. The video which was played for the audience to see gave me the impression that they were not giving honour where it is due, or rather they had the wrong priority. If someone so inexperienced or immature like me could have that impression, what about the seasoned veterans who were out there? I cannot see how it could go unnoticed unless their minds are losing their edge, please pardon the pun. Anyway, as the conference went on, I began to pick up other vibes that the visitors, sorry if I did not mention this earlier but there was a group of foreign Christians who came to present their cases, were trying to imply that their leader did miracles in curing the local sick people there. It became so ridiculous to the point where one of them declared that Ebola was exterminated in Congo as a result of their leader's prayer. Look, please do not get me wrong. I'm not saying that prayer is useless or a hoax but to say that a virus which is so widely spread in that country could suddenly be eradicated with the prayers of a single man in the span of 10 days, I think it'll be much easier for me to convince Galileo that the world is indeed flat.
Hitherto, some or maybe even most of you may not have seen my point. What I'm trying to put out on the table here is how are people like this getting away with what they do. In my honest and humble opinion, I feel that no one in this world, except for God Himself, should be given access to unopposed power. Some of us read, most of us were told and everyone sees that power indeed corrupts. Let me remind you of a common occurrence in all our lives which we can definitely relate to. We were all students in school before and in all schools, class monitors, prefects and librarians were appointed. Some of us who are more privileged became part of the coveted prefectorial body. I do hope that you see where I am getting at now. I mean to say that people with power, tend to abuse them. It's already happening in children, what more adults? Ask yourself if you were a prefect or otherwise, your friend who was one. Who were the students who carried their illegal stuff to school and placed it in their prefects' room. As a matter of fact, even prefects who warned their friends when the next spot-check would be are considered to be abusing the power that was bestowed to them. Back to the original discussion, the same happens with leaders that have power beyond measure. They start having exorbitant demands which progressively becomes harder to meet to the point where if it's not fulfilled, he or she blasphemes that the demand was made in conjunction with God's will. Up till now, I have yet to see a statement in a Bible which calls for a temple of worship with the dimensions of the Chinese Bird Nest Stadium. Or what about the case of certain pastors in America, who have their private airfields and planes? Are they then any better than a politician whom we so widely ridicule? A much older and similar example of this would be the life of King Saul where he rose to the throne under God's approval and subsequently lost it because he was so drunk on his newly-acquired power and influence, he thought that it was God who needed him and not the other way around.
Another one of my two-cents would be that these leaders manage to do whatever they like because no one dared to question their motives. Those who do would have most likely been kicked out or even shunned by others belonging to the majority who are blinded by the pompous claims of miraculous deeds by their larger-than-life leader. What most of us, especially Asians, don't realise is that we tend to follow without questioning where we're going. This could be attributed to the way we were brought up while we were children which was to do whatever we were told no matter how questionable the instructions were. As a result, we carry this behaviour into adulthood and even up till today, a majority of us remain the same because we're afraid that by challenging the authority, we would be burdened by the responsibility of having it which we always assume that we're never ready for. Please do not misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not implying that we must pounce at every opportunity to challenge our elders but rather to implore that we take a minute or so to process what we're told to do or believe. Faith without reason is fanaticism and the perfect example of a fanatic is none other than Herr Hitler himself.
The last thing that I have on my mind is that we tend to forget that God works through us, not solely by the gifts we were given. We are so amazed by the extraordinary feats of the leaders we respect so much so we forget that it is only by God's grace and will that such miracles could happen. I shall try to explain this in the simplest way possible. As cliche as it sounds, we are only human and leaders are no different. Being human, we can never escape the reality of having flaws but in the case of being a leader, especially an influential and powerful one, pride becomes our fatal downfall. Pride, or ego as we call it, can never be satisfied. It continues to feed and grow so insidiously that by the time it presents itself, we're already too late. How will pride grow you ask? Put yourself in the shoes of a pastor whom God has blessed with the power of healing for example. After a few successful sessions of healing, even the most humble person will start to have a sliver of thought that he or she was chosen of such a benevolent task because of their own capability. When this happens, we begin to forget that the Lord giveth and the Lord also taketh away. Once again, we return to the example of King Saul. He thought that it was due to his own intelligence and strength that wars were won. Consequently, he was stripped of God's anointing and then thrown to the Amonites to be killed. I can only hope that we always keep in mind that we can only be successful because of His guidance and blessing. God gave us our skills so that we can serve in areas that were designated to us when the time is right.
In the end, all that has been said will only just be my opinions. It is up to you readers to think on what I've talked on and to separate what's right from wrong. I might have made some crucial mistakes in my explanations or examples and I hope that if that is true, you would correct me so that I too may learn. For now, I wish you all a nice and fruitful week ahead and may God continue to bless all of you as you live your lives.
Call me over-thinking, unreasonable or judgmental, I'm not really bothered as I still stand by my opinion. The video which was played for the audience to see gave me the impression that they were not giving honour where it is due, or rather they had the wrong priority. If someone so inexperienced or immature like me could have that impression, what about the seasoned veterans who were out there? I cannot see how it could go unnoticed unless their minds are losing their edge, please pardon the pun. Anyway, as the conference went on, I began to pick up other vibes that the visitors, sorry if I did not mention this earlier but there was a group of foreign Christians who came to present their cases, were trying to imply that their leader did miracles in curing the local sick people there. It became so ridiculous to the point where one of them declared that Ebola was exterminated in Congo as a result of their leader's prayer. Look, please do not get me wrong. I'm not saying that prayer is useless or a hoax but to say that a virus which is so widely spread in that country could suddenly be eradicated with the prayers of a single man in the span of 10 days, I think it'll be much easier for me to convince Galileo that the world is indeed flat.
Hitherto, some or maybe even most of you may not have seen my point. What I'm trying to put out on the table here is how are people like this getting away with what they do. In my honest and humble opinion, I feel that no one in this world, except for God Himself, should be given access to unopposed power. Some of us read, most of us were told and everyone sees that power indeed corrupts. Let me remind you of a common occurrence in all our lives which we can definitely relate to. We were all students in school before and in all schools, class monitors, prefects and librarians were appointed. Some of us who are more privileged became part of the coveted prefectorial body. I do hope that you see where I am getting at now. I mean to say that people with power, tend to abuse them. It's already happening in children, what more adults? Ask yourself if you were a prefect or otherwise, your friend who was one. Who were the students who carried their illegal stuff to school and placed it in their prefects' room. As a matter of fact, even prefects who warned their friends when the next spot-check would be are considered to be abusing the power that was bestowed to them. Back to the original discussion, the same happens with leaders that have power beyond measure. They start having exorbitant demands which progressively becomes harder to meet to the point where if it's not fulfilled, he or she blasphemes that the demand was made in conjunction with God's will. Up till now, I have yet to see a statement in a Bible which calls for a temple of worship with the dimensions of the Chinese Bird Nest Stadium. Or what about the case of certain pastors in America, who have their private airfields and planes? Are they then any better than a politician whom we so widely ridicule? A much older and similar example of this would be the life of King Saul where he rose to the throne under God's approval and subsequently lost it because he was so drunk on his newly-acquired power and influence, he thought that it was God who needed him and not the other way around.
Another one of my two-cents would be that these leaders manage to do whatever they like because no one dared to question their motives. Those who do would have most likely been kicked out or even shunned by others belonging to the majority who are blinded by the pompous claims of miraculous deeds by their larger-than-life leader. What most of us, especially Asians, don't realise is that we tend to follow without questioning where we're going. This could be attributed to the way we were brought up while we were children which was to do whatever we were told no matter how questionable the instructions were. As a result, we carry this behaviour into adulthood and even up till today, a majority of us remain the same because we're afraid that by challenging the authority, we would be burdened by the responsibility of having it which we always assume that we're never ready for. Please do not misunderstand what I'm saying here. I'm not implying that we must pounce at every opportunity to challenge our elders but rather to implore that we take a minute or so to process what we're told to do or believe. Faith without reason is fanaticism and the perfect example of a fanatic is none other than Herr Hitler himself.
The last thing that I have on my mind is that we tend to forget that God works through us, not solely by the gifts we were given. We are so amazed by the extraordinary feats of the leaders we respect so much so we forget that it is only by God's grace and will that such miracles could happen. I shall try to explain this in the simplest way possible. As cliche as it sounds, we are only human and leaders are no different. Being human, we can never escape the reality of having flaws but in the case of being a leader, especially an influential and powerful one, pride becomes our fatal downfall. Pride, or ego as we call it, can never be satisfied. It continues to feed and grow so insidiously that by the time it presents itself, we're already too late. How will pride grow you ask? Put yourself in the shoes of a pastor whom God has blessed with the power of healing for example. After a few successful sessions of healing, even the most humble person will start to have a sliver of thought that he or she was chosen of such a benevolent task because of their own capability. When this happens, we begin to forget that the Lord giveth and the Lord also taketh away. Once again, we return to the example of King Saul. He thought that it was due to his own intelligence and strength that wars were won. Consequently, he was stripped of God's anointing and then thrown to the Amonites to be killed. I can only hope that we always keep in mind that we can only be successful because of His guidance and blessing. God gave us our skills so that we can serve in areas that were designated to us when the time is right.
In the end, all that has been said will only just be my opinions. It is up to you readers to think on what I've talked on and to separate what's right from wrong. I might have made some crucial mistakes in my explanations or examples and I hope that if that is true, you would correct me so that I too may learn. For now, I wish you all a nice and fruitful week ahead and may God continue to bless all of you as you live your lives.
Expressions...
... are something that I was and will probably never be good at. This might be the reason why I prefer to write about how I feel rather than talk to someone else about them. Please do not get the wrong idea that I don't trust my family or friends with what I have to say, rather I'm afraid to show how vulnerable I am deep inside. It also doesn't help that sometimes I tend to think too much when I'm bored. As the saying goes, an idle mind is the Devil's playground and I agree with it. Thoughts just start popping out of nowhere and I'll just stray from it every single time and whenever I do, it always ends up being the worst-case scenario. No doubt that it's good to be prepared at times for the worst but at times when we think too much, our thoughts and assumptions hurt us much more than how the real outcome will. As time passes, these feelings are brought forward and they snowball downwards ultimately causing an avalanche that will swallow you up for God-knows-how-long. I'm really afraid that I can't hold on much longer and hope that this week will pass sooner so that I can get over what I need to and I also know it's not fair to ask why is this happening to me when there are others more unfortunate than I am, especially the victims of the airplane fiasco. I can only hope that God will continue to grant me strength for the next 3 days. That's all I'm asking for. Then I promise I'll be back to my normal self. I noticed that this issue has troubled me to the point where I can't even play like how I used to in all the games that I normally immerse myself in. If you're reading this, do you no see how much you really mean to me?
Confusion or Illusion
I lie awake at night thinking about what might happen next. Will things turn out the way I hope it would be or the way they ought to be? I can't really tell because there is a mixture of both positives and negatives. Until a definite one reveals itself, I'm still stuck in limbo. Honestly speaking, this feeling is the one I despise most. The inability to plan my next move or predict what happens consequently. Some of you may think that I'm a control-freak but in my point of view, I just don't want to make a mistake that I might regret later on. If any of my friends are reading this, they will almost immediately label me as a hypocrite as I'm usually the one who promotes learning from mistakes but I can't seem to bring myself to do it this time around. I've already put it all that I have and the stakes are just too high for me to just risk the 50%. At this point, I guess I can only wait, pray and hope for the best. I hope I get my timing right the next time around.
Giving Up
Recently, I came across a very interesting phrase in a book
that I’m currently trying to finish. It goes “Sometimes, it is infinitely
harder to live than to die.” As much as I hate to admit it, what he wrote is really
the stone cold truth of the world today in which only the strong survive. This
is the reason why some individuals eventually succumb to the intense pressure
and give up halfway by taking what they presume is the “best” way out. As a
matter of fact, suicide is actually, what most of us would definitely agree, a
cowardly and irresponsible act. While it is definitely easy for you to just
jump off a 9-storey building or to go into eternal sleep thanks to pills or
even jump in front of moving truck, life doesn’t just come to a full-stop for
those who are around you. They’re the ones who will have to pick up the pieces,
be it literally or figuratively, and they’ll be the ones who will have to bear
the responsibilities that you choose to leave behind. However, I believe and
sincerely hope that none of you who are reading this are contemplating on
carrying out such a horrendous act. I’m actually here to give my two-cents on
the stage before getting to the point of no return which is “giving up”. As a
teenager, I’ve come across quite a number of situations which were quite
difficult to overcome at some point but I do not dare to claim that I’ve seen
them all. Some of you might have probably experienced far worse than I could
ever imagine and I pray that you manage to find strength to deal with them.
Occasionally, when I find myself stuck with a problem that I can’t find a way
around, I tend to just sit and shut down. As positive as I may seem on the
outside, it should not be surprising that even I have negative thoughts racing
through my noggin in trying times. I usually end up with statements like, “What’s
the purpose of doing this anyway? Even those better than me have tried and
failed, what more about me?” or “Just give up. It wouldn’t make much of a
difference after all.” It is only until I recall a very inspirational story
that I pick myself back up and continue to try and break through the barrier
that’s blocking my path at that particular moment. If you don’t mind reading,
let me share that story with you.
A man was walking along a beach one day when the tide of the
ocean was at its lowest and he saw that at least thousands of starfishes had
been washed ashore. He continued along his way until he came across a little
boy and was fascinated by the boy’s actions. Instead of playing with the starfishes
like how most kids would, the boy was actually took one, returned it into the
water and repeated his actions with each starfish that he picked up. The man sneered at his childish thinking and
tried to discourage the boy by telling him that there were at least a few
thousand of them on the beach and that it would not make difference. The boy
continued on with his activity quietly and after returning the starfish that he
was holding in his hands into the water, he turned to the man and said, “Well,
sir, I’m sure I made a difference for that little guy.”
It’s entirely up to you what moral lesson(s) you’d want to
pick out from that story. For me, it was “Do not give up trying to solve whatever problem you’re facing even when people around you are telling you that
you can’t do it.” Some of them are afraid that they might lose out to you if
you manage to achieve what they couldn’t, which is why they try the best they
can to get you onto the bandwagon so that you can be just like them. Many
successful people in the world have failed but they eventually end up at the
top of the ladder just because they chose to give their all instead of giving
it all up even when those surrounding them decided to ditch them in times of
need. Ultimately, you will be the one who decides if you’ll be at the bottom,
middle or top rung. Never let others decide what’s best for you because at
the end of the day, you are the pilot of your plane and not the passenger of
your own flight through life.
The Start of a New Year
Forgive me, my friends, for I have not been constantly updating this ol' corner of mine. Never-ending tests/ assessments, social life (not as developed as you would think) and also the temptations of video games are probably the main culprits that drew me away from doing one of my favourite activities which is writing. Hence, since it's 2014, I shall come up with an update before I procrastinate once more. Since the last time I posted something here, there'd been many things that I've experienced and gone through and maybe I shall keep the last 2 months of 2013 brief.
Things that I've done:
- Went to the Avicii live concert in Sepang (courtesy of my generous friend who gave me a free VIP pass)
- Attended my uni's Annual Dinner and also performed with 5 of my friends (I believe we did very nicely, ladies please take a number and get in line if you wanna get to know any one of them)
- Had a Christmas open house back in Melaka (hope those of you who went enjoyed yourselves with the songs and food)
- Secret Santa with my group of friends (some sort of a gift exchange game in conjunction with Christmas)
- Also, the Big Bad Wolf book sale where I wouldn't say it was good neither bad since I managed to buy a few good books
Things that I didn't do:
- Study and get good grades
- Constant exercise
Overall, I would say that 2013 wasn't exactly bad to me. Ups and downs are part and parcel of any individual's life and I don't think any one of us have the right to complain about our lives unless you don't have a roof over your head/ scavenging for leftovers to eat/ wearing discarded cloth. Maybe some of you experienced the loss of a loved one(s) or just had a really rough 365 days but do not dismay. As cliche as it sounds, God has His reasons so trust in Him that He'll make everything right for you in due time. For the meantime, carpe diem is the phrase to hold on to. For those of you who are scratching your head/ flipping through a dictionary/ attempting to type it in Google, the phrase simply means "seize the day" or in other words, live as though there's no tomorrow. However, please do not go into full #YOLO mode after reading what I've said. Living as though there's no tomorrow in my opinion is that we make full use of the time that's given to us to make ourselves and people around us happy. I hope that we've all had our fair share of good and bad and that we would make examples out of them so that we can find ways to perhaps improve ourselves. As for 2014, do your best and God will handle the rest. Aiming for a good grade? Study hard for it. Want to be fit and healthy? Get your butt out of the chair or bed, go outside and sweat it out. Got a crush? Less thinking, more talking/action (I said less not zero. Doing something without thinking is never wise). Then comes the trivial stuff in life that might affect our moods from time to time but I believe most of you know the meaning of que sera sera which translates to "whatever will be, will be". Pray that all of you will enjoy the first weekend of the new year. For me, it's just going to be playing games and finishing the book that I've started on a few days back. Have a nice day and God bless, folks.
Things that I've done:
- Went to the Avicii live concert in Sepang (courtesy of my generous friend who gave me a free VIP pass)
- Attended my uni's Annual Dinner and also performed with 5 of my friends (I believe we did very nicely, ladies please take a number and get in line if you wanna get to know any one of them)
- Had a Christmas open house back in Melaka (hope those of you who went enjoyed yourselves with the songs and food)
- Secret Santa with my group of friends (some sort of a gift exchange game in conjunction with Christmas)
- Also, the Big Bad Wolf book sale where I wouldn't say it was good neither bad since I managed to buy a few good books
Overall, I would say that 2013 wasn't exactly bad to me. Ups and downs are part and parcel of any individual's life and I don't think any one of us have the right to complain about our lives unless you don't have a roof over your head/ scavenging for leftovers to eat/ wearing discarded cloth. Maybe some of you experienced the loss of a loved one(s) or just had a really rough 365 days but do not dismay. As cliche as it sounds, God has His reasons so trust in Him that He'll make everything right for you in due time. For the meantime, carpe diem is the phrase to hold on to. For those of you who are scratching your head/ flipping through a dictionary/ attempting to type it in Google, the phrase simply means "seize the day" or in other words, live as though there's no tomorrow. However, please do not go into full #YOLO mode after reading what I've said. Living as though there's no tomorrow in my opinion is that we make full use of the time that's given to us to make ourselves and people around us happy. I hope that we've all had our fair share of good and bad and that we would make examples out of them so that we can find ways to perhaps improve ourselves. As for 2014, do your best and God will handle the rest. Aiming for a good grade? Study hard for it. Want to be fit and healthy? Get your butt out of the chair or bed, go outside and sweat it out. Got a crush? Less thinking, more talking/action (I said less not zero. Doing something without thinking is never wise). Then comes the trivial stuff in life that might affect our moods from time to time but I believe most of you know the meaning of que sera sera which translates to "whatever will be, will be". Pray that all of you will enjoy the first weekend of the new year. For me, it's just going to be playing games and finishing the book that I've started on a few days back. Have a nice day and God bless, folks.
I never knew....
....or rather I chose not to know that a day without gaming would actually lead to so much satisfaction. After 3 years of absence from writing essays, I have finally completed one which I would say it's not too bad, considering I haven't been writing anything noteworthy at all except my blog posts. If you're interested in reading it, you can do so by click this. If not, and you're just here to see if I have anything to rant about, you're in luck because I do. Internet service sucks today but if it wasn't for the downtime, I wouldn't have been able to complete something that I've always wanted to start. My friends were asking me before why I stopped writing like how I used to pre-SPM and post-SPM till a certain point. My answers were always the same. It's either I'm busy with my books or my games, with the latter taking up at least 2/3 of the time that I have in a day. So yeah, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Other than that, I would say that things are all fine for now. Nothing much happened (as usual) and I guess it'll stay like that if I continue to feel contented with my lifestyle. Sooo, I guess that'll be all? Haha. Good night, folks.
PS: After spending time writing, typing rather, 2.5k words, I hope you'd understand why my blog post is so short. Haha.
When your best friend leaves you...
.... it feels as if a part of your life is being taken away from you (although in reality he'll only be gone for a year). That's right. My comrade, brother-in-arms, accomplice, partner-in-crime (and whatever synonyms you may care to add) is leaving for the UK to further his studies in the field of engineering. Ever since he broke the news to me, I hoped that today will never come (selfish as I may sound) and that we could spend the remaining time playing ball together or so but alas, our schedules seemed to clash and even till today when I wanted to send him off, something urgent came up (I still went to see him, mind you). I'm really sorry that the CD was the most I could do for now but I wish you, from the very bottom of my heart, all the best in your studies in a foreign land. Pray that you'll be able to achieve what you dream of, bring back someone to introduce to us (preferably not a he) and also stay like how you are now instead of changing into someone that we may no longer recognise and associate ourselves with. I'm afraid that I can't write much in this post due to the fact that I can't even construct a proper sentence now because of all them feels. Please take good care of yourself there and I wish that the next time I meet you, we get to see eye-to-eye eh? Hehehe. Adios for now, hermano. Till I see you again in a year's time as day 1 of basketball without you starts as of now. Chiao man!
